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I’m not a big believer in making New Year’s resolutions. There’s something that feels bad about setting a goal that’s lofty — learning a new language is one of my perennial favorites, for example — and then not accomplishing it. Plus, I keep a daily to-do list that includes some small self-improvement items, and I work regularly, and with mixed results, to attain those.
As a <a href="https://www.als.org/navigating-als/for-caregivers">caregiver</a> for my late husband, Jeff, I also came to learn over time (and often the hard way) to be kinder to myself, to show myself some grace in what I could and could not reasonably accomplish. Caring for a loved one with a terminal illness is an act of grace unto itself and while it’s the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done, I found it very hard both physically and emotionally.
For all of these reasons, I haven’t thought about New Year’s resolutions in a very long time. But this year I’ve decided to catalog some specific goals for myself as they relate to <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/what-is-als/">ALS</a>.
<h3>Build my network of ALS community through volunteering</h3>
Before Jeff was <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/als-diagnosis/">diagnosed with ALS,</a> I did not often volunteer my time. I’d occasionally donate blood or participate in an organized activity through work, but volunteering wasn’t part of my daily life. When Jeff became ill, I felt overwhelmed, isolated, and scared, and realized that I needed to connect with other caregivers and families living with ALS. That led me to the then-newly formed <a href="https://www.iamals.org/">I AM ALS</a>, where I have found a true home and the chance to get and give support through building and participating in community events.
One of the most rewarding for me is participating as a speaker or moderator on <a href="https://www.iamals.org/action/request-a-panel/">Tim Lowrey ALS Panels,</a> named for my friend Tim Lowrey, who created them. These events are complimentary speaking panels that our team delivers to colleges and community organizations to help them learn about the disease.
I AM ALS is the group I found, but there are literally dozens of <a href="https://www.youralsguide.com/resource-list.html">organizations</a> both small and large that rely on volunteer time and expertise to thrive. While I did not have time to volunteer much, if at all, while caregiving, I have found that doing so while grieving and healing is deeply meaningful.
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<h3>Strengthen my support for people living with ALS and caregiving</h3>
When Jeff was diagnosed, a few complete strangers reached out to me. They had lost a parent or spouse to ALS, and instinctively understood the shock and bewilderment Jeff and I were feeling. These new friends were a lifeline to me — from calling to check on me or stopping by to bring me a nice-smelling body scrub, to answering my scariest, most personal questions.
Now, more than three years after Jeff’s death, it feels natural to want to do this for others. <a href="https://www.als.org/navigating-als/living-with-als">Living with ALS</a> can be lonely, and I learned firsthand what a difference it makes when someone who understands reaches out with empathy and kindness to help. I am far from alone in this; so many of my friends in the ALS community are those who have lost a spouse, parent, sibling, or best friend and want to help others feel less alone. Volunteer groups, once again, are a valuable way to meet others to <a href="https://www.iamals.org/get-help/">get or give support</a>.
<h3>Raise money for a cure</h3>
I’m terrible at asking for money and would have made a horrible salesperson, although, recalling my teenage years, my parents would surely disagree. However, when it comes to raising money for ALS it’s much easier because it will take many millions of dollars to further the groundbreaking science currently underway to end it.
This year, I signed on to participate in the <a href="https://www.nyrr.org/races/2023/unitedairlinesnychalf/">United Airlines New York Half Marathon</a> to raise money for the <a href="https://www.als.net/">ALS Therapy Development Institute</a>. This was one of the most memorable aspects of my year. I raised a sum higher than I’d endeavored to do before, and met my goal. On a 28-degree morning in March, I joined a team of other participants in New York to traverse 13.1 miles through Brooklyn and Manhattan, ending in Central Park. I’m not a natural runner and I walked nearly the entire course, but I finished the race. Most importantly, our team raised a significant sum for ALS TDI, and it felt great.
I won’t make any other New Year’s resolutions this year. I’ll keep plugging away at my personal growth in areas like building my fitness, learning new skills and growing as a person. But it feels good to have some specific plans to help end ALS, and to support people living with it and their families.
Thank you for reading my column this year. I wish you and your loved ones a peaceful and happy 2024.
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Note: <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/">ALS News Today</a> is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/approved-treatments-for-als/">treatment</a>. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of ALS News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ALS.

Restarting New Year’s resolutions with 3 goals for the ALS community

What are your plans for this year? What are they for next month? Will you do something you have always wanted to do? Will you do anything different from your usual way of life? After all, it is <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/columns/staying-grounded-new-year-living-with-als/">yet another new year</a> and we want to have a happy one, right?
So how can we be happy — especially those who are suffering every day in various ways? A happy new year will not come to fruition just because we wish it so. It requires action; we have to do something. So I am wishing everyone a happy &#8220;DO&#8221; year in 2023.
If you look back to last year, can you recount what you did versus what you said you would do? Unfortunately, many of us have made resolutions in January and forgotten about them in February. As the saying goes, &#8220;After all is said and done, much is said and little is done.&#8221;
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I can relate to the fact that there are things I will never do again, places I will never go, and people I will never meet. Within the context of having <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/what-is-als/">ALS</a>, I <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/columns/how-pace-lining-helps-als-community-support-one-another/">have to be realistic</a> and not resolve to do certain activities. Left with what my limited ability will allow, as you must do, too, I need to decide how to achieve my resolutions.
<h3>Learning to say yes</h3>
The question is: How can you have a happy DO year? The answer is found in the title of a book written by Peter Block: &#8220;<a href="https://bkconnection.com/books/title/the-answer-to-how-is-yes" rel="nofollow">The Answer to How Is Yes</a>.&#8221; Block&#8217;s message is quite obvious.
As for me, I don&#8217;t think about what I will do this year as much as I do about today. Grateful for waking up, I pray for the opportunity to help someone and be a reflection of positivity and goodwill. Doing those things on a consistent basis will turn a happy new year into a happy DO year.
When you ask how to be cheerful, say yes first. When you ask how to stay active, say yes first. When you ask how to help others, say yes first. When you ask how to smile through your misery and pain, say yes first. When you are lying in a bed unable to move any part of your body except your eyes and you ask how you can go on this way, please say yes first.
Move on to the next day, and the next, and the next, and you will have happy new days, which will eventually lead to a <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/columns/this-new-year-lets-nurture-will-want-live-living-als/">happy new year</a>. But first say yes to how and get started on making this a DO year.
<h3>In the context of ALS</h3>
ALS is so viciously unrelenting and leaves little time to contemplate actually doing anything. I once described it as my entire body having a stroke, one neuron at a time.
We victims of this monster&#8217;s claws suffer from despair, depression, disconnection, and dread. Many of us are disconsolate, defeated, disillusioned, depreciated, depleted, deprived, and destroyed. Some are even discounted, disrespected, dependent, and discarded. And that just covers the &#8220;D&#8221; words.
Here are a few more &#8220;D&#8221; words on the positive side: There are doctors who have dedicated their practices to defeating ALS. They are driven to deprive ALS of its dominance in our lives. They are determined to discover the cause and cure, and decrease the incidence of this diabolical disease.
Those aspirations confirm for me the need for a DO year by everyone involved with ALS. We patients can do our part by seeking out the leading doctors and researchers and following their work online or by reaching out to them personally. Stay informed about <a href="https://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/results?recrs=ab&amp;cond=ALS&amp;term=&amp;cntry=&amp;state=&amp;city=&amp;dist=">clinical trials</a> and advocacy work on our behalf, especially with the <a href="https://www.als.org/navigating-als/military-veterans">Veterans Administration</a>. It&#8217;s all about seeing the need and then doing the work.
Each day of life is precious and purposeful. If we look deeply enough, we can find the purpose of our lives, even though we are in the midst of the worst of times. However, all we really have is today — this day. As an <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/505050-the-two-most-important-days-in-your-life-are-the">anonymous quote</a> points out, &#8220;The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.&#8221;
It&#8217;s a precious day when a baby is born; it&#8217;s a purpose-filled day when that baby grows to the level of introspection that points out why they were born.
Spend some time searching for yourself this year and discovering what you are still able to do to make life better for someone else. Have a Happy DO Year!
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Note: <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/">ALS News Today</a> is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/als-diagnosis/">diagnosis</a>, or <a href="https://alsnewstoday.com/approved-treatments-for-als/">treatment</a>. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of ALS News Today or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to ALS.

Tag: new year

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